Speculative Fiction

this man has seen better days

2006-11-06T14:31:00.000-08:00

Armstrong post NYC marathon. He's hurting!

Missouri: Back woods regressives or Future embracing progressives?

2006-11-02T17:30:00.000-08:00

So we vote again next week. This state is locked in a backwards trend of regression that doesn't look to be changing anytime soon. Amendment two is on the ballot this time around, which would allow for the research into embryonic stem cells in this state and probably at my very school. I support this wholeheartedly, as I have two grandmothers with alzheimer's disease and I could very likely one day paralyze myself in a bicycle accident. While I fully support this amendment, I stare in disbelief at the seemingly absurd amounts of people out there in my city and st. louis and in between who have "NO CLONING! NO AMENDMENT TWO!!" signs proudly waving in their yards or on their bumpers. Do these people know what sample ballots are for? Are they illiterate? This law in no way legalizes reproductive cloning, which is what people are afraid of. It specifically outlaws that very notion.

VERBATIM FROM SAMPLE BALLOT
"Ban human cloning or attempted cloning"
It doesn't get clearer than that.
I've seen advertisements on TV the last few weeks with celebrities and athletes advocating their disaproval of this amendment. Jeff Suppan, pitcher of the world champion st. louis cardinals states "amendment two makes cloning a constitutional right." Apparently Jeff forgot to read his sample ballot. Then he goes on to state that the fine print does exactly the opposite of the quote I have stated above. Bollocks.
Therapeutic Cloning and reproductive cloning are very very different. While reproductive cloning would implant embryos inside the uterus of a female of whatever species, therapeutic cloning is done entirely inside of a laboratory while splitting cells 4 or so times. Does this sound like mad scientists are cloning some sort of frankenstein in their labs? NO.
I suggest that everyone go out and study up on this amendment and what it can do for our society. Either we advance and have possible cures for spinal injuries, alzheimer's, parkinson's, and paralysis in fifteen or so years or we continue to let these people wait and die in limbo while our capable scientists twiddle their thumbs. Don't let jackass athletes like Suppan and Kurt Warner tell you what to think. I don't care if they have won world series and super bowl rings; they are not scientists and they don't know what is best for society as a whole.

expectations

2006-10-06T14:29:00.000-07:00

Why can't I ever get involved with a sport where people aren't expecting something all the time? I just want to go out and have a good time without being expected to something every time there is a race or whatever. Seriously, stop bugging me about what i'm going to be doing regarding races. If I can afford it monetarily and feel like driving and feel like dealing with all the bullshit that happens when you show up to races, then maybe i will go, but most of the time, i probably won't show up. and you know what? why the hell does it matter to you? worry about yourself.

sorry. i didn't mean to be angry.

forsaken.

2006-10-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

"And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cooks, and to be bakers" (this describes the expense and luxury as well as the oppression of Kings) "and he will take your fields and your vineyards, and your olive yards, even the best of them, and give them to his servants. And he will take the tenth of your seed, and of your vineyards, and give them to his officers and to his servants" (by which we see that bribery, corruption, and favouritism, are the standing vices of Kings) "and he will take the tenth of your men servants, and your maid servants, and your goodliest young men, and your asses, and put them to his work: and he will take the tenth of your sheep, and ye shall be his servants, and ye shall cry out in that day because of your king which ye shell have chosen, AND THE LORD WILL NOT HEAR YOU IN THAT DAY."

-T. Paine.

anyone an iron maiden fan? WATCH THIS VIDEO.

2006-10-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TkTRV7vz06k

2006-09-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

man, i wish i lived in a society where these kinds of vehicles didn't exist. I can't stand trucks like this anymore. i just don't understand the appeal. so yeah, if you drive something as ridiculous as this picture, kill yourself. please.

see walter sobchuk for assistance in getting whacked.

MARK IT ZERO!!!!

...and now for something completely random

2006-09-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

Mullet Party. roller blading Osama.

chinese theater. fire breath.

mannequin piss.

Dead People, Pompeii

jason Cruz, Strung out. COlumbia, Missouri-5th and stewart.

forgetful

2006-09-25T13:26:00.000-07:00

wow, so i completely forgot about my blog for the past week. i seriously did not remember that it existed in my world. so much has been going on.....where to begin.

i got a substitute job on fridays for the rest of the semester working at Lee Elementary School here in Columbia. I have no idea what i'll do there, but i'll be doing something every week there until the middle of december. wow. at least i'll be able to put that child psychology i had to learn to use. never thought i would.

i applied to get into teach for america Los Angeles. This is a big deal fo rme. i really believe in the program and i really hope i get accepted for LA. I really want to live out there and i'll be doing something different than most people. plus, it will help me a lot because someone else will find me a job for my first two years of teaching which are the hardest. credible districts want to hire experienced teachers over brand new teachers anyday, so if someone can help me with those first two years, the rest of my life will be a little easier i think. i know way to many people who have education degrees who aren't teaching this year. that will not be me. i also met the first deadline, so rock on, i'm on top of my shit.

i've been on my bike as much as possible. at least 4-5 times per week. the dedication i had only a month ago has been replaced by much more important aspects, like career and moving the hell away from missouri. i've been here forever and as much as i like it here, i owe it to myself to get out now while i still can. i have no job commitments, no girl/wife, no monetary restrictions etc. I'm free as I'll ever be and now is the time to spread those fucking wings my high school guidance counselors were always telling me about. so yea, it is logical to believe i'll wind up in missouri again in my life, but you know what? i'm leaving come June.

SERIOUSLY!?!

2006-09-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

What are some people in this world thinking?!?! This is a random license plate I came across in a parking lot of Rich And Charlies Italian Restaurant. What a complete jerk. If you don't know what this is, too bad. I'm not going to explain it.

teach on

2006-09-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

so this is me. i'm getting ready to go to yet another fun filled semester of "observations" at a local high school. I am so grateful that this is my final semester doing this, as i believe it will truly drive me insane. This will be my 6th or 7th semester being in a classroom with no real purpose. next semester, it is on.

I'm studying for the GRE right now and that test and i are having a cacophonous relationship right now. i know i need to do it and get better, but it's just downright annoying to sit there and study this banal minutiae. Oh well grad school will come soon enough. and i take the GRE october 28, so then it will be done with, unless i do horribly, which i doubt.

I'm wearing no pants in that picture.

listening:

the lillingtons-backchannel broadcast

mastodon-blood mountain.

5 yr.

2006-09-11T07:30:00.000-07:00

me!

2006-09-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6gTxNk-dqY

oh how sweet the glorious music!

2006-09-07T09:02:00.000-07:00

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/TV/09/07/parishilton/index.html

Gateway Cup Part Two Finale

2006-09-04T17:29:00.000-07:00

So today concluded the 2006 Gateway Cup in St. Louis. It was a kick ass weekend to say the least. I thrashed myself in every way possible with the exception of losing skin. I am extremely grateful that didn't happen. To go through four races in four days of extreme efforts and being exhausted and not laying it down is something to say for myself and everyone else I think. There were a few crashes in almost every race every day, which is a bummer, but I've been there and am not looking forward to going back.

I improved on my results everyday, which was nice, but I never did crack the top 20. I totally thought I was ready for this onslaught everyday, but I wasn't quite. A few weeks ago I raced the state championship crit in Jefferson City and practically controlled a lazy field at low average speeds. It was mostly just boring to tell the truth. Not the case at Gateway. People came from California, Germany, Holland, Texas, New York and other midwestern states to do the 3's! It was amazing. The german dudes kicked total ass, but the 3's were mostly dominated by Carlitos Jones, of Team Gateway, who won 2/4 races and took second and fifth in the other two. His sprint is pretty nice, but I imagine he'll have a difficult time next year in the 1's and 2's races. We'll see, but good luck to him. Super nice guy. Always smiling, which says something about a person if you ask me.

Anyways, here is me today on the Delmar circuit. I was absolutely toast from the start to the finish from four days of consecutive fast racing. I think the first night we averaged 28.5 mph, the second night about 28.7, the third day around 25 and today around 26.6. The tour of the hill was crazy as hell because of the long 4 block drag uphill (THE hill) and left tons of dudes begging for their mommies.

Last night there was a party for the premiere of the tour de donut, starring Gateway Organizer Tim Ranek, who is almost MIzzou Alum. I think Tim had something to do with starting the Mizzou team along with matt smith and josh johnson, but I'm probably mistaken about that because I think it was actualy founded in the mid 80's, maybe by Ethan. Hmm.....someone clarify this.

So, overall fun weekend, tour de donut movie is funny as hell, and i'm sitting here in my room and i'm not planning on moving anytime soon. Later.

Gateway Cup Part One

2006-09-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

So last night began the annual Gateway Cup in St. Louis, Missouri. Racers from all over the country came out for night one in Lafeyette Square last night and I was damn impressed with the overall spectator frenzy. There were tons of people there! Granted, I'm sure a lot of them were racers and racers families, but it was still completely badass when I was in a break with 4 to go coming through the start/finish and just riding through a wall of noise and hearing my name blaring from the PA announcer. That was a sweet feeling. OOOOH!!!! here is a picture of me during the break. notice the blurry, streaky picture....that is because i was going FUCKING FAST.
So anyway, there were 125 dudes in my race and it was a fast crit. I haven't gone that fast in awhile and it felt painful, but good. Too bad I don't pack a faster sprint finish. I'm not good enough at keeping gaps filled and i get passed at crucial moments. shit, we'll see what happens today!

The pro 12 race was awesome as well. Dan schmatz and brian jensen and steve tilford were all there and throwing down hard. It was pretty impressive. I don't know if they were going THAT much faster than us, but they did it for 80 compared to 55 minutes. Pretty damn cool.

Anyway, it was awesome to see so many people show up and represent. later.

Problems

2006-08-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

I've been having problems logging into blogger lately. ANyone else? anyway, i got in and thought i should at least post SOMETHING, so i'll leave you with this:

I G pop ain't nuttin ta fuck wit.

2006-08-16T19:16:00.000-07:00

"I wanted it made known - in the most stringent terms possible - that it would be very foolhardy to mess with Iggy Pop. See, I started reading in the newspapers about me being 'The Godfather of Punk,' and figured, well, if I'm to be the Godfather, then I'm going to be a real Godfather - mafia style. Taking no shit from anyone and screwing anyone who tried to screw me."—Iggy Pop

oh! the agony!

2006-08-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

Tonight was so brutal. The Tuesday night ride officially toasted my legs harder than i've felt since the tour de winghaven (my first race back from a broken arm). A new guy in town (alex?), dave henderson, and myself put the hammer down hard on the final lap of our tuesday night worlds, columbia edition. I countered an attack and wound up off the front for a few miles with these guys, during which time i took a pull that lasted 2-4 miles, not sure really. i just hammered as hard as i could for as long as i could. Then i started seeing red. I dug deep people. I stayed on the group and tried to attack again about a mile and a half from the finish, but realized it was a bad idea when i stood up to put some pressure down and almost collapsed on top of my bike. yikes.

The ride home was a different story. We were riding slow. very slow and i just could barely keep up. I just stared at butthead's rear tire (ass?) all the way into town and then meekly asked him, "dude, do you have any food?" If i hadn't been wearing sunglasses, he would have been able to see the sunken, pathetic figure that I had become. Even my arms hurt.

I haven't cracked like that since I rode on New years eve with dave c. and daryl h. a few news years eve's ago. that was an epic bonk if i've ever felt it. i had to have my friend zach pick me up from a gas station in some hick town i had never heard of somewhere 20 or 30 miles outside of st. louis.

so yeah, tonight killed it and alex is fast. a new cat 2 on the block is nice to have around. cheers mate!

Listening:
alexisonfire, guttermouth, much the same, propagandhi, muse
reading:
i can't make myself focus on a book right now without completely passing out
watching:
mr. and mrs. smith (this movie is slightly amusing and action packed!)

i'm gonna go have a heart attack now. thank you good night!

shiskabob! shawshank redemption! Chicago!!!

2006-08-14T16:04:00.000-07:00

go on, you're out. go on!

anyway, i went to chicago this past weekend to visit some of my best friends who vacated st. louis for the great white north a year or two ago. things are going well for them and i can see they have a good thing going on, which is nice to see. glad they aren't miserable.

so dick pound from WADA is a jackass.

this is dick pound. he finds athletes guilty and sends them to the fire before they can even begin to defend themselves. have fun in hell dick the prick.

my buddy in chicago has a band, called much the same, who are awesome and rock out quite a bit. they have a new record coming out on nitro records august 29 and if you are a fan of GOOD punk rock like nofx, bad religion, strung out, whippersnapper etc. you need to check out this record. it should be huge. should be. amazon.com that shit.

so school starts AGAIN on monday. being in summer school and then having two weeks off and then going right back into the grind is a little mind boggling. i'm not sure how i feel about it, but i'm in a good motivation stretch right now and i could possibly have a great semester. i just can't find the last class i need to sign up for because everything i want to take is closed. i wouldn't mind just staying at nine credit hours, but my advisor has "advised" against that. why? not sure, but she said i should be full time. will that impede my graduation? i don't NEED anymore classes, so i wish they'd just let me stay where i'm at. it would give me more time to do some independent study to ready myself for the onslaught that will be student teaching. man, that is gonna be rough.

here is chicago, in it's summertime glory. in the winter, it is an evil bitch though.

listening:

much the same -survive, ignite-our darkest days, garden state-soundtrack

watching:

the office, grandma's boy, munich

reading:

Lies my teacher told me-james loewen.

Love

2006-08-07T16:36:00.000-07:00

I have been in love before I suppose. It was a good time in my life, but also stressful. Everything always felt like it was about to fall apart at any moment, but I didn't care. What I really wanted at that time was to be totally miserable, while in love with a girl. I was 17 then and now, retrospectively, I really doubt it was real love because I was stupid and inexperienced. What I thought to be love was in reality just a facade of jealousy, drinking and lust. I think that to be really in love, you shouldn't have to tell a person what you are thinking. They should just know.

Today, however, my tune is a little different. I honestly don't know how much I believe in the concept of love and marriage and a lifetime of devotion. It seems like a man made prison that society forces upon itself in the illusion that it is what they NEED to be happy. I don't buy it, but I can see where people can see it differently.

I feel that a common mistake people who get married make is the sacrifice of personal dreams in order to be together and legally bound by a piece of non-post consumer recycled paper. My immediate future has absolutely no romantic prospects on the horizon, although there are a few diamonds of my eye that will most likely never materialize. I entertain the idea of getting into a relationship every now and then and within the past year, I have even attempted to get into a real boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, which only ended in me storming naked out of her apartment at 4 am. I just freaked, and then ran. THe cause of this was the thought of having to sacrifice the things that keep me sane in order to spend time with her, and I realized I wasn't ready (or mature enough) to give up the things I want to do in order to try to meet someone else's needs. How fair is it for me to date someone when I can barely keep my own shit above water? That will only drive me crazy and make the other person end up sad and alone when I decide to hit the road.

It is inevitable. I would like children someday, but in the current way my path of life is taking me, I don't see how it will be possible. I don't see how I can let someone memorize my book of life when I haven't even read the chapters yet.

Call me a cynic, but I just don't see how people do it. I've been in the situation where you wake up day in and out and the same person is there and eventually, contempt is all I feel for that other person. What makes them so important that they have to keep staying around? What makes it worth it? I really want to know. Do people really "stay together for the kids"? I can see where that would be a respectable reason, but the fact of the matter is, if the marriage is dysfunctional, the kids are going to realize it and start hating the parents in the process. I've been there. There were times when I felt my own parents were staying together for the wrong reasons, but now I respect their decision and perseverence in holding it all together. I couldn't have done it. I would have said something along the lines of "this is fucked, good luck".

This is fucked. Good Luck

Playing:
Strung Out-Exile in Oblivion
Chuck Ragan-Live in San Diego
Bad Religion-The Gray Race

our greed and rampage will be our doom

2006-08-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

"To have arrived on this earth as a product of a biological accident, only to depart through human arrogance, would be the ultimate irony"

-R. Leakey, 1977

102 degrees + Ashland bike ride = ultimate suckfest

2006-07-31T13:57:00.000-07:00

it is windy as hell and 102 blazing hot out right now. I just got home from riding an ashland, which was an extremely disturbing experience. I just couldn't get moving at all. SUffer was the name of the game.....and suffer also happens to be the name of my favorite bad religion record, but that isn't relevant here.

SO yeah, if it is this hot tomorrow, i will be indoors swimming laps and then riding rollers because i seriously think my body was close to completely shutting down today. the occipital lobe in my brain (the lobe right above your neck, dummy) was ACHING for more than an hour, which makes me think i was about to suffer a heat stroke or some equal or worse fate. Scary.

Today and yesterday i listend to:
rise against-the sufferer and the witness
lars frederiksen and the bastards-viking,
rancid-life won't wait
no fun at all-master celebrations

buh bye for now......shit heads.

:)

Introducing: "THE HELP GREG RACE FOUNDATION"

2006-07-29T13:56:00.000-07:00

So I don't have any money. Seriously, it is ridiculous how poor I am this summer. I've never really had cashflow problems in my life, but I'm poor now, which sucks because I like to race bicycles a lot, which is one of the most most expensive hobby/sports possible. I work in a bar and get paid normal college wages (jackshit), but have to pay for bills just like everyone else. This leaves little money for the ever-rising gas and race entry fees. Oh, how I want to race my bicycle, bicycle, i want to ride my bike. Bicycle races don't seem to be coming my way.

I am a category 3 racer. I'm not the best, but I'm certainly not the worst. I can typically finish top ten most of the time. I'v never won a race before, but I dream big and will try until the finish to win.

So my proposal. Email me money through paypal at GJS9QD@mizzou.edu and I will use that money for gas/race entry/food exclusively. I will use all money received to enter races. Scout's honor (I am an eagle scout, so yeah take that).

SO yes, send me money or comment your email address on my comments page so I can pay for my races.

and yes, I am dead serious. Help me race and i'll love you long time.

Thomas Paine

2006-07-28T07:13:00.000-07:00

So I've been reading a few historical documents here and there lately in order to tighten up my historical facts for student teaching. I came across this little ditty by Thomas Paine (the author of rights of man and common sense) which I found quite interesting.

"...It is the pride of kings which throws mankind in confusion.""Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness;the former promotes our happiness positively by uniting our affections , the latter negatively by restraining our vices."

and yes, I've been a blogging fool the last few days. I just like it for some reason.

mcdonalds is bad for you! THE MOVIE!

2006-07-27T19:58:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dclZxxaB6XE

2006-07-27T19:57:00.000-07:00

Landis Dissed

2006-07-27T13:38:00.000-07:00

The positive test of Floyd Landis that was announced earlier is extremely nauseating. Bike racing COULD be such a cool sport and probably was in the old days when everyone was on drugs. I'd almost prefer it now.

When things like this happens, I wonder how long it will be until I ride around and people in cars start yelling things like "doper" and "druggie" at me just for riding around in mid-Missouri. People are so naive, they'd probably believe that I was a druggie simply because I'm a bike rider.

I'd really like to know who else out there is on drugs and getting away with it. It always catches the people you'd never think. Hamilton, Landis, Dave Breuylandts, jan ullrich and others.....well maybe i shouldn't be surprised because those dudes are all pretty good, but it really knocks the wind out of the fairy tale inference that these guys are just "that good because they train harder".

Is it all bullshit?

Chuck Ragan

2006-07-26T10:28:00.000-07:00

Chuck Ragan has been one of my musical icons for many years now. I started listening to his stuff in the blacktop cadence, hot water music, and rumbleseat around ten years ago now and i've always loved his songs. He quit Hot Water Music last year in order to spend time with his family and do more things that he wanted to do besides being on the road ten months a year.

He has posted some new songs on his myspace page. I recommend "the boat". it is a really excellent song.

http://www.myspace.com/chuckragan

Glad to see you're back, Chuck.

cool tour de france photo essay

2006-07-25T12:44:00.000-07:00

http://inmotion.magnumphotos.com/essays/ustourdefrance.aspx

wisdom is plentiful here in the land of speculation

2006-07-23T17:07:00.000-07:00

the mothers of idiots are always pregnant.

Extra! Extra! Israel bombs the shit out of Lebanon and Palestine!

2006-07-17T14:12:00.000-07:00

So Israel has gone batshit crazy after the kidnapping of one of their soldiers by Palestine. Granted, Palestine was wrong for doing what they did, but I think it was an act of desperation to get their own soldiers back. This entire situation has been going on nearly a week now and mostly just civilians have died. I guess these civilians are militants?

yeah those people look pretty dangerous to me.

Yes, I agree that the Islamic fundamentalist group, Hezbollah, are wrong in their actions, and they should never be appeased, but the actions of Israel are not going to better the situation. All they are going to do is further provoke a desperate population and brew more hatred and death. When these kids and families are bombed out of their homes, how is that sending a message of trying to root out a greater evil? The survivors are not going to view the Israeli cause with any greater acceptance AFTER they get their homes and families destroyed. They are going to see the point of the fundamentalist groups and go "oh yeah, now I see what they meant". This is a lose-lose situation.

I can not claim to be an Arab-Israeli-Palestinian scholar or anything, but it is undeniable that the situation is going to escalate to the point of Iran/Syria/USA involvement and then shit is really going down.

what?

2006-07-16T13:41:00.000-07:00

I am a knight in shining armour wanna-be.

I do not understand how someone who agrees with the government is a patriot while someone who disagrees is considered a militant. The Israeli forces are viewed as saviors by the US government, while the Palestinian forces are all viewed as terrorist militants. Israel is not a savior, but an illegal occupier who needs to be condemned by the UN for their actions against a refugee nation who owned the land before Israel even existed.

The Palestinian Prime Minister can sum this situation up much better than I can. Take it away...

GAZA, Palestine -- As Americans commemorated their annual celebration of independence from colonial occupation, rejoicing in their democratic institutions, we Palestinians were yet again besieged by our occupiers, who destroy our roads and buildings, our power stations and water plants, and who attack our very means of civil administration. Our homes and government offices are shelled, our parliamentarians taken prisoner and threatened with prosecution.
The current Gaza invasion is only the latest effort to destroy the results of fair and free elections held early this year. It is the explosive follow-up to a five-month campaign of economic and diplomatic warfare directed by the United States and Israel. The stated intention of that strategy was to force the average Palestinian to "reconsider" her vote when faced with deepening hardship; its failure was predictable, and the new overt military aggression and collective punishment are its logical fulfillment. The "kidnapped" Israeli Cpl. Gilad Shalit is only a pretext for a job scheduled months ago.
In addition to removing our democratically elected government, Israel wants to sow dissent among Palestinians by claiming that there is a serious leadership rivalry among us. I am compelled to dispel this notion definitively. The Palestinian leadership is firmly embedded in the concept of Islamic shura , or mutual consultation; suffice it to say that while we may have differing opinions, we are united in mutual respect and focused on the goal of serving our people. Furthermore, the invasion of Gaza and the kidnapping of our leaders and government officials are meant to undermine the recent accords reached between the government party and our brothers and sisters in Fatah and other factions, on achieving consensus for resolving the conflict. Yet Israeli collective punishment only strengthens our collective resolve to work together.
As I inspect the ruins of our infrastructure -- the largess of donor nations and international efforts all turned to rubble once more by F-16s and American-made missiles -- my thoughts again turn to the minds of Americans. What do they think of this?
They think, doubtless, of the hostage soldier, taken in battle -- yet thousands of Palestinians, including hundreds of women and children, remain in Israeli jails for resisting the illegal, ongoing occupation that is condemned by international law. They think of the pluck and "toughness" of Israel, "standing up" to "terrorists." Yet a nuclear Israel possesses the 13th-largest military force on the planet, one that is used to rule an area about the size of New Jersey and whose adversaries there have no conventional armed forces. Who is the underdog, supposedly America's traditional favorite, in this case?
I hope that Americans will give careful and well-informed thought to root causes and historical realities, in which case I think they will question why a supposedly "legitimate" state such as Israel has had to conduct decades of war against a subject refugee population without ever achieving its goals.
Israel's unilateral movements of the past year will not lead to peace. These acts -- the temporary withdrawal of forces from Gaza, the walling off of the West Bank -- are not strides toward resolution but empty, symbolic acts that fail to address the underlying conflict. Israel's nearly complete control over the lives of Palestinians is never in doubt, as confirmed by the humanitarian and economic suffering of the Palestinians since the January elections. Israel's ongoing policies of expansion, military control and assassination mock any notion of sovereignty or bilateralism. Its "separation barrier," running across our land, is hardly a good-faith gesture toward future coexistence.
But there is a remedy, and while it is not easy it is consistent with our long-held beliefs. Palestinian priorities include recognition of the core dispute over the land of historical Palestine and the rights of all its people; resolution of the refugee issue from 1948; reclaiming all lands occupied in 1967; and stopping Israeli attacks, assassinations and military expansion. Contrary to popular depictions of the crisis in the American media, the dispute is not only about Gaza and the West Bank; it is a wider national conflict that can be resolved only by addressing the full dimensions of Palestinian national rights in an integrated manner. This means statehood for the West Bank and Gaza, a capital in Arab East Jerusalem, and resolving the 1948 Palestinian refugee issue fairly, on the basis of international legitimacy and established law. Meaningful negotiations with a non-expansionist, law-abiding Israel can proceed only after this tremendous labor has begun.
Surely the American people grow weary of this folly, after 50 years and $160 billion in taxpayer support for Israel's war-making capacity -- its "defense." Some Americans, I believe, must be asking themselves if all this blood and treasure could not have bought more tangible results for Palestine if only U.S. policies had been predicated from the start on historical truth, equity and justice.
However, we do not want to live on international welfare and American handouts. We want what Americans enjoy -- democratic rights, economic sovereignty and justice. We thought our pride in conducting the fairest elections in the Arab world might resonate with the United States and its citizens. Instead, our new government was met from the very beginning by acts of explicit, declared sabotage by the White House. Now this aggression continues against 3.9 million civilians living in the world's largest prison camps. America's complacency in the face of these war crimes is, as usual, embedded in the coded rhetorical green light: "Israel has a right to defend itself." Was Israel defending itself when it killed eight family members on a Gaza beach last month or three members of the Hajjaj family on Saturday, among them 6-year-old Rawan? I refuse to believe that such inhumanity sits well with the American public.
We present this clear message: If Israel will not allow Palestinians to live in peace, dignity and national integrity, Israelis themselves will not be able to enjoy those same rights. Meanwhile, our right to defend ourselves from occupying soldiers and aggression is a matter of law, as settled in the Fourth Geneva Convention. If Israel is prepared to negotiate seriously and fairly, and resolve the core 1948 issues, rather than the secondary ones from 1967, a fair and permanent peace is possible. Based on a hudna (comprehensive cessation of hostilities for an agreed time), the Holy Land still has an opportunity to be a peaceful and stable economic powerhouse for all the Semitic people of the region. If Americans only knew the truth, possibility might become reality.

boredom survey?

2006-07-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

this is pretty lame, but then again, so am i.

Life is Random...ask questions
Ocean or Lake?
Ocean
Pizza or Chinese?
pizza
Mansion or Penthouse?
Penthouse, less to clean up
Have you been on a Jet Ski?
Oh yes.
Are you afraid of clowns?
EEK.
How many brothers/sisters do you have?
one brother/one sister
Favorite band/group?
propagandhi, bouncing souls
Baseball or football?
baseball
Favorite brand of makeup?
uhh..the kind the dude from AFI wears.
Waffles or pancakes?
waffles with chocolate chips
Do you have an IPod?
yes
Bike or scooter?
bicycle, a good one.
Ever go in a hot air balloon?
no, but i want to jump out of one.
How will you celebrate turning 21?
saw Muse at the pageant
What brand computer do you have?
Gateway
How many times have you been to DisneyWorld?
6?
Favorite city?
Prague, Rome, New York, Los Angeles
Ice cream or frozen yogurt?
ice cream
Do you think you are fat?
nope
Ever throw up in a public place?
Yes, all over my pants and shoes too.
Do you have a pool?
no
Ever drive a car?
yes
How many times a month do you go to the movies?
one time per month MAYBE
Last movie you saw?
Pirates
Who is your hero?
the silent heroes of the world.
How old are your parents?
49 and 48
What deceased person would you like to meet?
Joe Strummer and Jacques Anquetil
Do you chew ice?
sure
Have you been to California?
yes, great place.
Last book you read?
The things they carried and the great shark hunt
Favorite teacher?
Joe Hobbs and Greg Grupe
Do you like to go fishing?
it is fun, but I won't keep the fish
How many boyfirends/girlfriends have you had?
4
How many of those do you regret?
1
What is you average in school?
3.6
Favorite professional team?
BANESTO! RIP, Quick Step-Innergetic (formerly Mapei) and Portuguese national football
Do you like mohawks?
NO
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
a dozen or so.
Do you floss?
yes
Do you have braces?
grades 6-8
Do you bite your nails?
yep.
What is your last thought before falling asleep?
If I don't sleep for 8 hours, someone's gonna die.
Do you fall in love easily?
Love is for suckers at this age.
Ever have a crush and they never knew?
yes
Do you babysit?
Babysitting my parents dog this week. go me.
Ever been shot at?
Yes, it missed me by maybe the width of a finger.
Do you work out/exercise?
yes, freakishly.
Do you have 6 pack abs?
of course
Do you consider yourself nice?
Not when I'm working at the blue note.
What movie character would you like to be?
Mr. Smith
Do you go to camp for the summer?
nope
Ever been bit by a snake?
yes, 3 times.
Have you been on a boat?
yes
Name of friend you have known the longest?
Chris
Do you like jumping on a trampoline?
i suppose
Ever break a bone?
yes, both arms, elbow, foot, pelvis
Name of favorite Aunt/Uncle?
i don't have a favorite
What is your ultimate job?
retirement at 30 and then surfing in Hawaii.
Do you want to walk on the moon?
If i had the oppurtunity, I'd do it.
Can you name the seven dwarfs?
sleepy, doc, bashful, happy, grumpy, sneezy, dopey
Favorite TV show?
arrested development, the office, the sopranos, south park
Apples or oranges?
apples, oranges, apples and/or oranges or both at the same time.
Favorite model of car?
http://www.audiusa.com/model_home/0,,bodyStyleId-13,00.html?bodystyle=a3sedan&referringPage=Flash_home_theater
Favorite flower?
Roses! Roses! Roses! Roses! (name that song)
Favorite color?
Crimson and Black in a suit of the penguin black label
Besides family, ever have someone of the opp sex in your bedroom?
yes
Ever climb out your bedroom window?
yes, i have.
Do you live in an apartment or house?
townhouse
How many times in the last month have you had the hiccups?
zero
Ever laugh so hard milk came out your nose?
no
How many cousins do you have?
13
Do you believe in ghosts?
yes
If you were a bird, what would you be?
a pelican
Ever get stitches?
yes
If you could, would you want to know what your future was going to be?
no
How many kids do you want to have?
0-2
If you could change your name, what would it be?
josh freese, jason cruz or greg graffin
Dogs or cats?
they are both kind of shitty
Who do you tell your problems to?
i keep them all bottled inside
Who can your tell your secrets to and know they wont tell?
a select few
Do you believe in love at first sight?
not love, you know what i mean.
Do you go to church?
no
Would you marry outside your religon?
maybe, not too thrilled with christianity or islam these days though.
Volleyball or tennis?
volleyball
How many people were at your last party?
350-ish
Ever ride in a limo?
do not recall
Ever drink champagne?
no
Favorite dinner?
the one's that cost $500 and get picked up by someone else.

oh mama

2006-07-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

I am feeling the burden of school for pretty much the second time ever. "burnout" often occurs when someone does something at too high an intensity for too long of a time. I've experienced this bike riding several times in the five years I've been doing it. However, with that, it is easier to just take a break for a week then start fresh. WIth school, it isn't so easy. Especially when you are in the middle of an 8 week session of summer school taking a subject that you have no familiarity with (Biology).

The stress of learning about zygotes, spermatids, and palisade layers has worn me into a tired, weak, hunched over version of my normal self. It has pounded me into submission like the carpet bombing of Cambodia in the seventies under Nixon. Biology is a carpet bomb raid.

Now, more than ever, I want to finish school and move around for awhile. I am feeling flighty again, which happens every little bit. It makes me start checking out apartment listings in NYC, southern california, hawaii etc. and looking at surfboards on ebay, wishing and praying that I could be doing that instead of what I actually AM DOING.

The other night at the blue note, a singer of a shitty band said "is there anything you would die for? If the answer is no, then you probably aren't really living"

Even though the band sucked, it made me evaluate life for a few minutes. I then realized what I have ahead of me in life and then I didn't feel so bad. If only these next 12 months can get by relatively pain-free, I'll be happy. Damage control is in effect.

...and as the battle rages on and on.....

2006-07-08T13:21:00.000-07:00

So two days ago, I posted a story about something that happened to me. Honestly, I was enraged at the comments made straight to my face from someone I had never met. For three days now, I've been thinking about it over and over, which has really gotten me thinking about the ways in which it could have been different and why he said the things he did. While he was way out of line in his arrogant, pompous comments, I can see why he said them.

By becoming a teacher, I have chosen a life of constant scrutiny for myself. I've heard this for the last few years by my professors and teachers in the field, and to some extent, I understood and accepted this, but since I had never actually been in the situation itself, it was impossible for me to really know what to expect. I've heard horror stories of fabulously psychotic parents who have vowed legal action and physical violence upon a teacher since their kids were failing the class. Teachers should never have to be in this situation. Parents are just as unstable as their kids, but with a fair amount of reason. I can understand parents being extremely protective of their children, and although I do not appreciate it, that can sometimes come back to haunt teachers.

Being a public figure and leader is a hard job because everyone is seemingly watching your every step. The spotlight can be a very unglamourous spot to be in if you aren't doing your best to protect yourself and cover your steps.

Mistake #1 on my part was getting drunker than anyone at that party. Even though I broke no laws and wasn't in the out-of-control drunk mode so many college students are known for, I appeared to be the least professional person at the party. I put myself into that situation.

Mistake #2. Letting it be known what my profession was going to be. I will never reveal that in a setting like that again, especially if I am in a vulnerable situation.

Mistake #3. Talking to people who apparently don't appreciate fun and who run their lives with a tediousness comparable to rigor mortis.

So, Yes, I made mistakes. It's alright I think. The guy came off as a major jerk to me and that is why I reacted in the ways I did. I have some learning to do when it comes to conflict resolution, which only comes with experience. Next time I am in a similar situation, I will remember this example and amend my behavior to a more acceptable demeanor.

Am I admitting he was right? Absolutely not. I am merely being critical of myself. I feel as if I've already made enough of an argument to justify that he was just being an ugly, vile person and picking a fight with someone in a reduced mentally aware state. Below the belt was the name of the game I guess.

So let this be the end of it. We will probably cross paths again in the future due to our mutual acquaintances and I want none of the awkwardness which will likely pollute the atmosphere. Let this be a civil reconciliation.

25 ways to impress your lady

2006-07-07T23:10:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER: i do not actually believe in any of this. it was just kind of humorous enough to share with the entire world.

1.When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes, and girls love That.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness(or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is say "you better be" , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewellery is for pussy's and Asian ladies.
7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words fcuk you and grab the other girls arse. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her your jacket...then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop b*tching about the cold right now you're going to be b*tching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she'll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order interrupt and say "No she's not hungry". Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.
22. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.
23. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
24. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much but I think it's funny.
25. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny

Haven't we gotten any further than this?

2006-07-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

People in society today seem to be as naive, sheltered and prude as ever. Unfortunately for people of the United States, we were founded by a group of prude, straightforward, and intimidated people. They fled what they feared and started a nation built on "morals".

I thought that this being 2006, people were a little more accepting of situations that don't necessarily agree with them. For example, homosexuality, tattoos, drug use, atheism, etc. are all regarded as things that good, decent people can engage in without being regarded as living a horrible, unworthy life. I can definitely see both sides, but when these intolerant people come out swinging at me, things tend to get a little sour in nature.

Last night, I was attending a barbecue with some bike racer friends of mine for the 4th of July. We had all been on our bikes all day, since 7 am. We rode around 108 miles according to someone's computer that I saw. That is a long day in the saddle and what better way to relax after that than with some beers, barbecued chicken courtesy of the trolly family, and some laughs.

A friend and I were talking and we were (naturally) dropping the F-Bomb left and right fairly nonchalantly. We thought nothing of it. And I was around 8 drinks in at the time as well, which increases my cursing tenfold. Everything is either fucked or goddamned when I'm sauced.

An eavesdropping person who I'd never met leaned over to me and asked if I could keep the language in check, because "we don't use that word." TO this, I replied, "what, fuck?"

He winced when I said it again, which naturally caused me to say "fuck shit ass bitch slut cock dickhead" in rapid fire succession.

He then said "I think we're going to get along great." To this I replied, "You, sir, are completely wrong."

He blew me off when he realized I wouldn't back down. Later on he heard that I was going to be a teacher, to which he spewed off in very trite fashion "so my daughter will tell me what she learned in school next year and say, oh i learned to say fuck!"

He called me out on my professional demeanor and qualifications based on one evening (a holiday nonetheless) when I was hanging out in the confidence of friends and having a good time. That is just unbelievable. Questioning my ability to become a teacher is about as far as I was able to let it go and then I ripped into him as well as I could considering my state of mind.

"You actually believe that your kids teachers aren't outside school drinking beer and cussing when they aren't teaching? You are hands-down one of the most naive people I have ever met. "

Get with reality people. The world isn't as easy going as some people would like to believe.

Here's to you, Mr. DDS, you need to accept the fact that people can be great teachers and still have a good time without it affecting their performance. I care about kids more than you ever will and you'll never be qualified to drill into my tooth canals. 22 years with no cavities.

2006: the tragic tour de france

2006-06-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

So the tour de france is going to suck this year. why? jan ullrich, ivan basso, francisco mancebo and tons of other riders have been implicated in the biggest doping scandal in years and therefore will not start the tour.

What the hell man? This is some fucked up shit. I wanted Ullrich to win so bad. Now instead he'll probably quit the sport.

Here's to alejandro valverde. let's hope he can do it.

I hate bike racing. err.....i hate the negative aspects. it's still awesome.

more racing!!! BRUTALITY!!!!

2006-06-26T14:14:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was my crash course in racing with the big boys. I entered into a 55 minute criterium race with the 1 and 2 category racers. I was half expecting to finish, half not expecting to finish. the second half won out. The shit went down from the gun which left me hanging onto the back the entire time and chasing out of every corner, which is not a very effective way to do a race. I kept moving up and then would mysteriously be on the back again, frustrated. So all this chasing led me to become very tired and I know my body.....when I'm tired, things do not go right and i start gettin lazy and cranky, which leads to Greg taking people out and onto the pavement. When I started getting those thoughts, I decided it was time to call it a day and pulled up to the side of the road and watched the race proceed down the road without me. I pulled up at the start line just in time to watch my friend Jason completely eat shit. To see a picture of his fun injury, go to http://prozenberger.blogspot.com/

Freakin sick dude.

goodness gracious

2006-06-22T12:13:00.000-07:00

people are DICKS. Yes, humongous penises. Jimmy and I were talking last weekend about how lazy it is to insult people using cuss words, but you know what, they are dicks. that's it.

RACING!!!!!

2006-06-18T21:52:00.000-07:00

So I raced today in the category 3 race at winghaven. It was hard because I haven't raced since february and I've done MAYBE 5 hard rides since I got back from my broken elbow. So I finished, which was goal number one, AND I kind of, sort of helped a teammate win some money by blocking for him when he went in breaks and shit like that. It was so convenient that all I had to do was shut down the pace because I could have done that anyway because I was blowing up so hard from lap 4 onward. I wasn't expecting a pace like that at all but I am glad I finished with the main group. We raced for like 90 minutes too. That is kind of long at the pace we were running. I don't know, I'm not fast, but I hung in there for dear life.

no fiction here

2006-06-17T16:09:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow I will race a bike for the first time since February. There is big money available so maybe I can get some of that if I make it to the finish. I have to wake up at 6:30 in the AM to do this, which sucks the big one, but at least I'll be able to fall asleep easily tomorrow. No speculative fiction about waking up before 7 am. that is some stone cold fact.

I've been prepping my bike for battle tomorrow as well. New chainrings, new cassette, new chain, lots of lube (you know, for sex) and some world cup soccer as background entertainment. Tomorrow I'll do 36 miles in O'Fallon shooting for some money.

Commerce Bank Sucks.

critical mass goes wrong in Winnipeg

2006-06-13T08:37:00.000-07:00

Sgt. Kelly Dennison of the Winnipeg Police Services (no need to imply who they actually serve, right?) stood in front of live microphones last week and didn’t hesistate to tell the local media a bald-faced lie: that our noble paragons of public safety, the Winnipeg Police, were attacked by cyclists participating in a bike-awareness rally.
It’s strange, because if you watch the footage recorded during the alleged “attack”, it actually indicates the exact opposite; that the Police attacked the cyclists (who were guilty of peacefully demonstrating an awareness of cycling as an alternate and sane means of urban transportation during this era of global warming and peak oil).

Watch the video footage yourself and see if Sgt. Dennison’s comments to the media don’t seem to add up

Video Footage : http://dwdtv.org/humanrights.html

go g7welcomingcommittee!

currently listening-POS-Audition

welcome to hell

2006-06-12T19:23:00.000-07:00

so I've done it all regarding internet websites and blogs. I had an online diary at the age of 15 that almost got me suspended from school and started mass chaos between certain people. I guess what butthead says is true. "if you put it on the internet, people will see it."

Well, I had to delete that one. Then I didn't have anything for awhile until freshmen year of college I got a myspace account. I posted shit on there occasionally and recently pissed off a girl I know. She is angry with me.....probably irreparably (sp?)

SO I cancelled the myspace because it honestly is the most addictive and lame thing a person can get themselves hooked on. A few days ago I recognized this addiction and deleted the account cold turkey. Don't need it anymore I found. But, here I am on blogspot now. It isn't as flashy or addictive as myspace, but I can still post thoughts, feelings, and opinions and photos on here. So that's awesome. Hopefully I will have some fun with this.

Anyway, I'm here for now, but I have school in themorning that i must begin preparing for. Ouch.

current reading: The things they carried- tim o'brien
current listening: the bouncing souls-the gold record, propagandhi-potemkin city limits

late.